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Saturday, August 8, 2009

Beer Vs Women

Most men like women. But, most men like beer too! So, for men it
becomes a rather confusing choice between women and beer!

A Beer is always wet, a woman is not !
1 point for beer !

Beer is horrible, when it is hot !
1 point for women !

A cold beer, satisfies you !
1 point for beer !

If you come back home smelling beer, your wife can get angry at you.
If you come back home smelling women, your wife will get angry for
sure and she might even not talk to you again !
Draw ! ( Depends on your point of view .... )

10 beers in a night and then you can't drive.
10 women in one night and you don't have to drive anywhere !
1 point for women !

The older, The beer is - the better, it is !
1 point for beer !

If you ask yourself how the next woman will be, you are normal.
If you ask yourself how the next beer will be, you are an alcoholic !
1 point for women !

For a beer, you pay taxes !
1 point for women !

If you take a second beer, the first one doesn't get angry !
1 point for beer !

You can always be sure that, you are the first one " Opening " a beer !
1 point for beer !

If you shake a beer, after a while it calms down by itself !
1 point for beer !

You know exactly how much a beer costs !
1 point for beer !

A beer does not have a mother !
1 point for beer !

You can do it if you want, but beer won't ask you to hug her for half
an hour after !
1 point for beer !

So the Score is ......... Beer beats women - 9 to 6 !


If you are a woman reading this and getting angry ....... know that a
beer would never get angry!
So .......... Another point for beer !


Now the final score is .......... Beer beats women - 10 to 6 !

Ten Principles for Peace of Mind

1. Do Not Interfere In Others' Business Unless Asked.

Most of us create our own problems by interfering too often in others'
affairs. We do so because somehow we have convinced ourselves that our
way is the best way, our logic is the perfect logic and those who do
not conform to our thinking must be criticized and steered to the
right direction, our direction. This thinking denies the existence of
individuality and consequently the existence of God.. God has each one
of us in a way. No two human beings can think or act in exactly the
same way. All men or women act the way they do because God within them
prompts them that way. Mind your own business and you will keep your
peace.

2. Forgive And Forget.

This is the most powerful aid to peace of mind. We often develop ill
feelings inside our heart for the person who insults us or harms us.
We nurture grievances. This in turn results in loss of sleep,
development of stomach ulcers, and high blood pressure. This insult or
injury was done once, but nourishing of grievance goes on forever by
constantly remembering it. Get over this bad habit. Life is too short
to waste in such trifles. Forgive, Forget, and march on. Love
flourishes in giving and forgiving.

3. Do Not Crave For Recognition.

This world is full of selfish people. They seldom praise anybody
without selfish motives. They may praise you today because you are in
power, but no sooner than you are powerless, they will forget your
achievement and will start finding faults in you. Why do you wish to
kill yourself in striving for their recognition? Their recognition is
not worth the aggravation. Do your duties ethically and sincerely.

4. Do Not Be Jealous.

We all have experienced how jealousy can disturb our peace of mind.
You know that you harder than your colleagues in the office, but
sometimes they get promotions; you do not. You a business several
years ago, but you are not as successful as your neighbor whose
business is only one old. There are several examples like these in
everyday life. Should you be jealous? No. Remember everybody's life is
shaped by his/her destiny, which has now become his/her reality. If
you are destined to be rich, nothing in the world can stop you. If you
are not so destined, no one can help you either. Nothing will be
gained by blaming others for your misfortune. Jealousy will not get
you anywhere; it will only take away your peace of mind.

5. Change Yourself According To The Environment.

If you try to change the environment single-handedly, the chances are
you will fail. Instead, change yourself to suit your environment. As
you do this, even the environment, which has been unfriendly to you,
will mysteriously change and seem congenial and harmonious.

6. Endure What Cannot Be Cured.

This is the best way to turn a disadvantage into an advantage. Every
day we face numerous inconveniences, ailments, irritations, and
accidents that are beyond our control. If we cannot control them or
change them, we must learn to put up with these things. We must learn
to endure them cheerfully. Believe in yourself and you will gain in
terms of patience, inner strength and will power.

7. Do Not Bite Off More Than You Can Chew.

This maxim needs to be remembered constantly. We often tend to take
more responsibilities than we are capable of carrying out. This is
done to satisfy our ego. Know your limitations. . Why take on
additional loads that may create more worries? You cannot gain peace
of mind by expanding your external activities. Reduce your material
engagements and spend in prayer, introspection and meditation. This
will reduce those thoughts in your mind that you restless. Uncluttered
mind will produce greater peace of mind.

8. Meditate Regularly.

Meditation calms the mind and gets rid of disturbing thoughts. This is
the highest state of peace of mind. Try and it yourself. If you
meditate earnestly for half an hour everyday, your mind will tend to
become peaceful during the remaining twenty-three and half-hours. Your
mind will not be easily disturbed as it was before. You would benefit
by gradually increasing the period of daily meditation. You may think
that this will interfere with your daily work. On the contrary, this
will increase your efficiency and you will be able to produce better
results in less time

9. Never Leave The Mind Vacant.

An empty mind is the devil's workshop. All evil actions start in the
vacant mind. Keep your mind occupied in something positive, something
worthwhile. Actively follow a hobby. Do something that holds your
interest. You must decide what you value more: money or peace of mind.
Your hobby, like social work or religious work, may not always earn
you more money, but you will have a sense of fulfillment and
achievement. Even when you are resting physically, occupy yourself in
healthy reading or mental chanting of God's name.

10. Do Not Procrastinate And Never Regret.

Do not waste time in protracted wondering " Should I or shouldn't I?"
Days, weeks, months, and years may be wasted in that futile mental
debating. You can never plan enough because you can never anticipate
all future happenings. Value your time and do the things that need to
be done. It does not matter if you fail the first time. You can learn
from your mistakes and succeed the next time. Sitting back and
worrying will lead to nothing. Learn from your mistakes, but do not
brood over the past. DO NOT REGRET. Whatever happened was destined to
happen only that way. Why cry over spilt milk?

short joke

Religious Husband

A HUSBAND COMES HOME FROM CHURCH;

HE GREETS HIS WIFE AND LIFTS HER UP. HE THEN CARRIED HER AROUND THE HOUSE.

THE WIFE WAS SO SURPRISED AND SHE ASKED
'DID THE BISHOP PREACH ABOUT BEING ROMANTIC'?

THE HUSBAND SAID, 'NO, HE SAID WE MUST CARRY OUR BURDENS AND SORROWS'.

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought
he was God and I didn't.

2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal! To kill them.

4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.

9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

10.. Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck- is-the-room- spinning medicine.

12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.

13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.

15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.

18 . Procrastinate Now!

19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!

23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.

26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.

28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

The Wood Cutter

The Wood Cutter

One day a woodcutter took his grandson into the forest for his first
experience in selecting and cutting oak trees. These they would later
sell to the boat builders.

As they walked along, the woodcutter explained that the purpose of
each tree is contained in its natural shape: some are straight for
planks, some have the proper curves for the ribs of a boat, and some
are tall for masts.

The woodcutter told his grandson that by paying attention to the
details of each tree, and with experience in recognizing these
characteristics, someday he too might become the woodcutter of the
forest.

A little way into the forest, the grandson saw an old oak tree that
had never been cut. The boy asked his grandfather if he could cut it
down because it was useless for boat building - there were no straight
limbs, the trunk was, short and gnarled, and the curves were going the
wrong way. "We could cut it down for firewood," the grandson said. "At
least then it will be of some use to us." The woodcutter replied that
for now they should be about their work cutting the proper trees for
the boat builders; maybe later they could return to the old oak tree.

After a few hours of cutting the huge trees, the grandson grew tired
and asked if they could stop for a rest in some cool shade. The
woodcutter took his grandson over to the old oak tree, where they
rested against its trunk in the cool shade beneath its twisted limbs.

After they had rested a while, the woodcutter explained to his
grandson the necessity of attentive awareness and recognition of
everything in the forest and in the world. Some things are readily
apparent, like the tall, straight trees; other things are less
apparent, requiring closer attention, like recognition of the proper
curves in the limbs. And some things might initially appear to have no
purpose at all, like the gnarled old oak tree.

The woodcutter stated, "You must learn to pay careful attention every
day so you can recognize and discover the purpose God has for
everything in creation. For it is this old oak tree, which you so
quickly deemed useless except for firewood, that now allows us to rest
against its trunk amidst the coolness of its shade.

"Remember, grandson, not everything is as it first appears. Be
patient, pay attention, recognize, and discover."

How smart is your right foot - amazing

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT ?

This is hysterical.I guess there are some things that the brain cannot handle..

HOW SMART IS YOUR RIGHT FOOT ?

You have to try this please, it takes 2 seconds. I could not believe
this! This will confuse your mind and will keep you trying over and
over again to see if you can outsmart your foot, but you can't. It is
pre-programmed in your brain!

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and
make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number '6' in the air with your
right hand. Your foot will change direction.

And there's nothing you can do about it! You and I both know how
stupid it is, but before the day is done you are going to try it
again, if you've not already done so.

Stress Meter-check it out

I am not sure exactly how it works, but this is amazingly accurate.
Read the full description before looking at the picture.

The picture below has 2 identical dolphins in it. It was used in a
case study on stress level at St. Mary's Hospital.

Look at both dolphins jumping out of the water. The dolphins are identical.

A closely monitored, scientific study of a group revealed that in
spite of the fact that the dolphins are identical; a person under
stress would find differences in the two dolphins. If there are many
differences found between both dolphins, it means that the person is
experiencing a great amount of stress.

Look at the photograph and if you find more than one or two
differences you may want to take a vacation.

Creativity With Finger

Awesome IT Quotes.....!!!!

------------------------------------------------------------------------

UNIX is simple. But it just needs a genius to understand its simplicity.

-Dennis Ritchie

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Before software can be reusable, it first has to be usable.

-Ralph Johnson

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment.

-Fred Brooks

------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's hard enough to find an error in your code when you're looking for it;
It's even harder when you've assumed your code is error-free.

-Steve McConnell Code Complete

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The trouble with the world is that the stupid are sure and the
intelligent are full of doubt.

-Bertrand Russell

------------------------------------------------------------------------

If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be
the process of putting them in.

-Edsger Dijkstra

------------------------------------------------------------------------

You can either have software quality or you can have pointer arithmetic;
You cannot have both at the same time.

-Bertrand Meyer

------------------------------------------------------------------------

There are two ways to write error-free programs; only the third works.

-Alan J. Perlis

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Measuring programming progress by lines of code is like measuring
aircraft building progress by weight.

-Bill Gates

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development
time.
The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the
development time.

-Tom Cargill

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and
better idiot-proof programs.
The Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots.
So far the Universe is winning.

-Anonymous

------------------------------------------------------------------------

Theory is when you know something, but it doesn't work.
Practice is when something works, but you don't know why it works.
Programmers combine Theory and Practice: Nothing works and they don't
know why.

-Anonymous

------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Six Phases of a Project:

* Enthusiasm
* Disillusionment
* Panic
* Search for the Guilty
* Punishment of the Innocent
* Praise for non-participants

-Anonymous

------------------------------------------------------------------------

No matter how slick (efficient) the demo is in rehearsal, when you do it
in front of a live audience,
The probability of a flawless presentation is
Inversely proportional to the number of people watching,
Raised to the power of the amount of money involved.

-Anonymous

Friday, July 31, 2009

A Village in Austria named Fucking

A Little Austrian Town Named.......


The newspaper article below is even funnier than the sign!

Are the residents called Fuckers?
What are the mothers called?
What would you be learning at the Fucking High School ?
Does the Fucking Hospital help you with anything else?
If your friend came from another town, he wouldn't be your Fucking friend.

I didn't believe this was true .. So did an Internet search. It's
TRUE!!! Here's more pictures and info .

Now, this one is really good! The sign says 'Bitte! Nicht so schnell',
which in English translates to 'Please! Not so fast!

More tidbits, and it gets even funnier! ..
Pronounced 'fooking'
The little hamlet of Fucking is named after the man who founded the
village in the 6th century.
His name? Focko.
NOW YOU CAN FORWARD THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS
WHO KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE FUCKING TOWN.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

P U Z Z L E S

 LETS SEE - HOW BRILLIANT ARE YOU ???


Test yourself with these thinking exercises. The solutions are at the
bottom of the page. Don't be lazy. Try hard to figure these out before
you look! It'll be a lot more satisfying.

1. There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall building.
Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the
building to go to work. Upon returning from work though, he can only
travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way
unless it's raining! Why?

This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all lateral
thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many
possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the
canonical answer is truly satisfying.

2. A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the
scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives the
surgeon says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son! " How can
this be?

3. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, coat, gloves
and ski mask. He is walking down a back street with all the street
lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off but
somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

4. One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older
twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. How?

5. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones?
This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can
be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a
very well-known software company as an interview question for
prospective employees.

6.. A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left
early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently
died of poisoning.. Why did the man not die?

7. A man died and went to Heaven. There were thousands of other people
there. They were all naked and all looked as they did at the age of
21. He looked around to see if there was anyone he recognized. He saw
a couple and he knew immediately that they were Adam and Eve. How did
he know?

8. A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day
of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?

9. A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water.
The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says
'Thank you' and walks out. This puzzle claims to be the best of the
genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with
a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to
solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the
satisfaction of figuring it out.

10. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three
rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of
assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that
haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

11. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for
over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both
go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this
be?

12. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put
all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any
dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

13. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when
you throw it away?

14. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday? (or
day names in any other language)

15. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find
out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think
nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is
unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not
find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

The solutions are below.... Don't be lazy. Try hard to figure these
out before you look!

Solutions :

1. The man is very, very short and can only reach halfway up the
elevator buttons. However, if it is raining then he will have his
umbrella with him and can press the higher buttons with it.

2. The surgeon was his mother.

3. It was day time.

4. At the time she went into labor, the mother of the twins was
traveling by boat. The older twin, Terry, was born first early on
March 1st. The boat then crossed a time zone and Kerry, the younger
twin, was born on February the 28th. Therefore, the younger twin
celebrates her birthday two days before her older brother.

5. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the diagonal
of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down the manhole. So
for safety and practicality, all manhole covers should be round.

6. The poison in the punch came from the ice cubes. When the man drank
the punch, the ice was fully frozen. Gradually it melted, poisoning
the punch.

7.. He recognized Adam and Eve as the only people without navels.
Because they were not born of women, they had never had umbilical
cords and therefore they never had navels. This one seems perfectly
logical but it can sometimes spark fierce theological arguments. (Just
what a HUMOR list needs!!) ;^)

8. They were two of a set of triplets (or quadruplets, etc.). This
puzzle stumps many people. They try outlandish solutions involving
test-tube babies or surrogate mothers.. Why does the brain search for
complex solutions when there is a much simpler one available?

9. The man had hiccups. The barman recognized this from his speech and
drew the gun in order to give him a shock. It worked and cured the
hiccups--so the man no longer needed the water. The is a simple puzzle
to state but a difficult one to solve. It is a perfect example of a
seemingly irrational and incongruous situation having a simple and
complete explanation. Amazingly this classic puzzle seems to work in
different cultures and languages.

10. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

11. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband,
developed it, and hung it up to dry.

12. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in
the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.

13. The answer is Charcoal.

14. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

15.. The letter "e," which is the most common letter in the English
language, does not appear once in the long paragraph..

Sunday, July 19, 2009

SERIOUS JOKE

Serious joke....(literally)


AN AMERICAN VISITED INDIA AND WENT BACK TO AMERICA

WHERE HE MET HIS INDIAN FRIEND WHO ASKED HIM

HOW DID U FIND MY COUNTRY

THE AMERICAN SAID IT IS A GREAT COUNTRY

WITH SOLID ANCIENT HISTORY

AND IMMENSELY RICH WITH NATURAL RESOURCES.

THE INDIAN FRIEND THEN ASKED


HOW DID U FIND INDIANS


INDIANS??

WHO INDIANS??

I DIDNT FIND OR MET A SINGLE INDIAN

THERE IN INDIAï

WHAT NONSENSE??

WHO ELSE COULD U MET IN INDIA THEN

THE AMERICAN SAID

IN KASHMIR I MET A KASHMIRI

IN PUNJAB A PANJABIï

IN BIHAR,MAHARASTRA, RAJASTHAN, BENGAL,TAMILNADU,KERALA

BIHARI,MARATHI, MARWADI, BENGALI,TAMILIAN, MALAYALIï

THEN I MET

A MUSLIM,

A HINDU

A CHRISTIAN,

A JAIN,

A BUDDHIST

AND MANY MANY MANY MORE


BUT NOT A SINGLE INDIAN�DID I MEET


THINK HOW SERIOUS THIS JOKE ISï


THE DAY WOULD NOT BE FAR OFF WHEN INDEED WE WOULD

BECOME A COLLECTION OF NATION STATES AS SOME

REGIONAL ANTI-NATIONAL POLITICIANS WANT ...

FIGHT BACK -


ALWAYS SAY I AM INDIAN

JAI HIND

Wisdom

Once upon a time an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a
thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later the young
man was proven innocent. After been released he sued the old man for
wrongly accusing him.

In court the old man told the Judge: 'They were just comments, didn't
harm anyone..'

The judge, before passing sentence on the case, told the old man:
'Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut them
up and on the way home, throw the pieces of paper out. Tomorrow, come
back to hear the sentence.'

The next day, the judge told the old man: 'Before receiving the
sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper
that you threw out yesterday.'
The old man said: 'I can't do that! The wind spread them and I won't
know where to find them.' �

The judge then replied: 'The same way, simple comments may destroy the
honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If
you can't speak well of someone, rather don't say anything.
'Let's all be masters of our mouths, so that we won't be slaves of our words.'

Monday, July 13, 2009

Friday, July 10, 2009

81 ways to win your wife's love

81 ways to win your wife's love

1. Make her feel secure, don't threaten her with divorce.
2. Give sincere Salaams.
3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel.
4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere.
5. Be generous with her.
6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart.
7. Avoid anger, be in Wudhu at all times.
8. Look good and smell great for your wife.
9. Don't be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken.
10. Be a good listener.
11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing.
12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, and names she
loves to hear.
13. A pleasant surprise.
14. Preserve and guard the tongue.
15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings.
16. Give sincere compliments.
17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family.
18. Speak of the topic of her interest.
19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.
20. Give each other gifts.
21. Get rid of routine, surprise her.
22. Have a good opinion of each other.
23. Have good manners, overlook small things, don't nitpick.
24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses.
25. Expect and respect her jealously.
26. Be humble.
27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers.
28. Help at home, with housework.
29. Help her love your relatives, but don't try to force her.
30. Let her know that she is the ideal wife for you.
31. Remember your wife in Du'a.
32. Leave the past for Allah, don't dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.
33. Don't act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing,
Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to
the family.
34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not your wife.
35. Put food in your wife's mouth.
36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want
to protect.
37. Show her your smile.
38. Don't ignore the small things, deal with them before they be come big.
39. Avoid being harsh-hearted.
40. Respect and show that you appreciate her thinking.
41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills.
42. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within
Halaal boundaries.
43. Help her take care of the children.
44. Give her gifts with your tongue, be an artist with your compliments.
45. Sit down and eat meals together.
46. Let her know that you will be traveling or returning from travel,
give her sufficient notice.
47. Don't leave home in anger.
48. Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home.
49. Encourage each other in worship.
50. Respect and fulfill her rights upon you.
51. Live with her in kindness, goodness, fairness in good and bad times.
52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, don't jump on her like a bull.
53. Keep disputes between the two of you, don't take it outside.
54. Show care for her health and well-being.
55. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.
56. Share your happiness and sadness with her.
57. Have mercy for her weaknesses.
58. Be a firm support for her to lean on.
59. Accept her as is, she is a package deal.
60. Have a good intention for her.
61. Cook a dish for her.
62. Designate a nice, clean, spacious area in your home for the two of
you to pray at night whenever you can.
63. Women love flowers. Make a trail of them on the floor leading to
the gift you made for her.
64. Give her a nice massage when she least expects it.
65. Send your wife a text message out of the blue with a message of love.
66. Send your wife an email without a reason.
67. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location,
preferably without kids.
68. Do something for your wife's family, whether it is a gift, or a
chat with her teen brother who needs mentoring, or whatever. It will
get you lots of brownie points.
69. Do not keep reminding and demanding your rights all the time.
70. Shop groceries for her and call her from the store and ask her
what she needs for the home, for herself or for her to give to people
as gifts.
71. Ask her if she would like to invite her female friends over for
ladies only get together and arrange for the dinner.
72. Ask her to send gifts to her parents and siblings.
73. Help her parents pay off debt. Send her poor relatives some money.
74. Write love notes or poems and place them in the book she's been reading.
75. If she tells you something she had just learned from the Qur'an or
Hadith, do not dismiss her or ridicule her effort, instead listen to
her and take her word.
76. Plant her a kitchen garden with all kind of herbs she needs for cooking.
77. Adopt a kitten for her if she likes.
78. Update her PC or laptop with a new one or get her a new mobile phone.
79. Learn to do a special massage technique and surprise her with your
new expertise.
80. Teach your children to respect and honor their mother.
81. Be humorous with her when she makes a mistake in the kitchen (like
when she put too much salt or burnt her baking).

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Medical Benefits of Honey and Cinnamon

Medical Benefits of Honey and Cinnamon..


It is found that a mixture of honey and cinnamon cures most Diseases.
Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world. Scientists of
today also accept honey as a "Ram Ban" (very effective) medicine for
all kinds of diseases. Honey can be used without any side Effects for
any kind of diseases.

Today's science says that even though honey is sweet, if taken in the
right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm diabetic patients. Weekly
World News, a Magazine in Canada , on its issue dated 17 January, 1995
has given the following list of diseases that can be cured by honey
and cinnamon as researched by western scientists

HEART DISEASES
Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread, instead of
jelly and jam, and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the
cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from heart attack.
Also, those who have already had an attack, if they do this Process
daily they are kept miles away from the next attack. Regular use of
the above process relieves loss of breath and strengthens the heart
beat. In America and Canada , various nursing homes have treated
patients successfully and have found that as you age, the arteries and
veins lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and cinnamon
revitalize the arteries and veins.

ARTHRITIS:
Arthritis patients may take daily, morning, and night, One cup of hot
water with two spoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon
powder. If taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured. In a
recent research conducted at the Copenhagen University, it was found
that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one
tablespoon honey and half teaspoon Cinnamon powder before breakfast,
They found that within a week, out of the 200 people So treated,
practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain, and
within a month, mostly all the patients who could not walk or move
around because of arthritis started walking without pain.

BLADDER INFECTIONS:
Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a
glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in
thebladder.
TOOTHACHE:
Make a paste of one teaspoon of cinnamon powder and five teaspoons of
honey and apply on the aching tooth. This may be applied three times a
day until the tooth stops aching.

CHOLESTEROL:

Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of cinnamon powder mixed
in 16 ounces of tea water, given to a cholesterol patient were found
to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10 percent within
two hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, if taken three times a
day, any chronic cholesterol is cured. According to information
received in the said Journal, pure honey taken with food daily
relieves complaints of cholesterol. By the way, if you're taking
cholesterol medicine, STOP! They all contain STATIN which weaken your
muscles...including YOUR HEART and none has been shown to stop heart
attacks or strokes!!!!= 20


COLDS:

Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon
lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for three days.

This process will cure most chronic cough, cold, and clear the sinuses.

UPSET STOMACH

Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also clears
stomach ulcers from the root.
GAS

According to the studies done in India and Japan , it is revealed that
if honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas


IMMUNE SYSTEM

Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system
and protects the body from bacterial and viral attacks. Scientists
have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts.
Constant Use of honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles to
fight bacterial and viral diseases.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

slap to those people who crack jokes on sardar

It's 12-o'clock!

"Its easy to joke on a Sardar, but it's too difficult to be a Sardar".

I was standing at jalandhar station when my attention went towards a
Sikh youth standing near me wearing a Black turban having a long beard
and wearing a kirpan over his shirt looking similar to a terrorist.

After a while, one local train arrived, which was totally packed. The
Sikh youth tried to alight the train but failed to do so.

Just then a voice was heard from the back coach 'Sardarji Barah Baj
gaye' (Sir it's 12 o'clock!)

The Sikh youth looked over at that voice maker who was a young
Mischievous type of person and instead of showing any anger made a
smile towards him.
The smile made was so enigmatic that it seemed as if some type of
truth lies behind it. Not able to resist my temptation, I walked
towards him and asked why did he smile at that person who teased him.
The Sikh youth replied, 'He was not teasing me but was asking for my
Help' . I was surprised with these words and he told me that there was
a big history behind that which one should know. I was eager to know
the History and the Sikh youth narrated:

During 17th Century, when Hindustan was ruled by Mughals, all the
Hindu people were humiliated and were treated like animals. Mughals
treated the Hindu women as their own property and were forcing all
Hindus to accept Islam and even used to kill the people if they were
refusing to accept. That time, our ninth Guru, Sri Guru Teg Bahadarji
came forward ,in response to a request of some Kashmir Pandits to
fight against all these cruel activities. Guruji told the Mughal
emperor that if he could succeed in converting him to Islam, all the
Hindus would accept the same.

But, if he failed, he should stop all those activities . The Mughal
emperor happily agreed to that but even after lots of torture to
Guruji and his fellow members he failed to convert him to Islam and
Guruji along with his other four fellow members, were tortured and
sacrificed their lives in Chandni Chowk. Since the Mughals were unable
to convert them to Islam they were assassinated.

Thus Guruji sacrificed his life for the protection of Hindu religion.
Can anybody reading this lay down his life and that too for the
protection of another religion? This is the reason he is still
remembered as "Hind Ki Chaddar", shield of India. For the sake of whom
he had sacrificed his life, none of the them came forward to lift his
body, fearing that they would also be assassinated

Seeing this incident our 10th Guruji! , Sri Guru Gobind Singhji (Son
of Guru Teg Bahadarji) founder of the Khalsa made a resolution that he
would convert his followers to such human beings who would not be able
to hide themselves and could be easily located in thousands. At the
start, the Sikhs were very few in numbers as they were fighting
against the Mughal emperors. At that time, Nadir Shah raided Delhi in
the year 1739 and looted Hindustan and was carrying lot of Hindustan
treasures and nearly 2,200 Hindu women along with him. The news spread
like a fire and was heard by Sardar Jassa Singh who was the Commander
of the Sikh army at that time. He decided to attack Nadir Shah's
Kafila on the same midnight. He did so and rescued all the Hindu women
and they were safely sent to their homes.

It didn't happen only once but thereafter whenever any Abdaalis or
Iranis had attacked and looted Hindustan and were trying to carry the
treasures and Hindu women along with them for selling them in Abdal
markets, the Sikh army although fewer in numbers but were brave
hearted and attacked them at 12 o'clock midnight and rescued the
women.

After that time when there occurred a similar incident. People started
to contact the Sikh army for their help and Sikhs used to attack the
raiders at Midnight, 12 o'clock. Nowadays, these "smart people" and
some Sikh enemies who are afraid of Sikhs, have spread these words
that at 12 O'clock, the Sikhs go out of their senses. This historic
fact was the reason which made me smile over that person as I thought
that his Mother or Sister would be in trouble! and want my help and
was reminding me by saying 'Sardarji Barah Baj Gaye'

Pease don't make fun of religions. Every river is different but they
all flow into the ocean. "Its easy to joke on a Sardar, but it's too
difficult to be a Sardar"

17 Management Funda's

17 Management Funda's
1. "We will do it" means "You will do it"
2. "You have done a great job" means "More work to be given to you"
3. "We are working on it" means "We have not yet started WORKING on the
Same"
4. "Tomorrow first thing in the morning" means "Its not getting done
"At least not tomorrow!"
5. "After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views" means "I
have already decided, I will tell you what to do"
6. "There was a slight miscommunication" means "We had actually lied"
Office-management-fundas
7. "Lets call a meeting and discuss" means "I have no time now, will talk later"
8. "We can always do it" means "We actually cannot do the same on time"
9. "We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension
of the deadline" means "The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver
on time."
10. "We had slight differences of opinion "means "We had actually fought"
11. "Make a list of the work that you do and let's see how I can help
you" means "Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me"
12. "You should have told me earlier" means "Well even if you told me
earlier that would have made hardly any difference!"

13. "We need to find out the real reason" means "Well I will tell you
where your fault is"
14. "Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just
ensure that the work is not affected," means, "Well you know…"
15. "We are a team," means, "I am not the only one to be blamed"
16. "That's actually a good question" means "I do not know anything about it"
17. "All the Best" means "You are in trouble"1."We will do it" means
"You will do it"

5 thing r Happening i your House

This is truly brilliant... .It can't get more accurate than this!!!!
Sigmund Freud's priorities test.
Five things are happening in your house at the same time. In which
sequence would you solve them?
1. The telephone is ringing!
2. The baby is crying!
3. Someone's knocking or calling you from the front door!
4. You hung the clothes out to dry and it is beginning to rain!
5. You left the tap on in the kitchen and the water is already overflowing!
In which sequence would you solve these problems? Write the sequence
and do check below how your decisions were made. BUT BE HONEST, THE
FINDINGS ARE EXCITING. First write YOUR sequence from 1 to 5 then
scroll below and read after!
Answer:
Every individual point represents something in your life. On the list
you can see which meaning every point has:
1. Telephone represents =Work*
2. Baby represents =Family*
3. Door represents =Friends*
4. Clothes represent =Money*
5. Tap represents =Love life*
- Your chosen sequence determines the priorities in your life.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

8 Tips For Disliking A Person LESS...

Some people are part of your life, whether you want them there or not.
What if you don't have the
warmest of feelings for your boss? Your mother-in-law? Your next-door neighbor?

It's easy to come up with a mental catalog of all the ways in which
that person could change to be less annoying,
domineering, passive-aggressive, arrogant, etc.—but the fact is, you
can't change anyone but yourself.

Here are some tips about how to help yourself cultivate more friendly
feelings. It's quite a strain to hide feelings of dislike;
if you can manage to change your feelings, you'll be much happier.
It's hard, but not impossible.

1. Seek contact. This is a bit counter-intuitive. If you don't like
someone, you probably feel like avoiding that person,
but because of the psychological phenomenon known as the mere exposure effect,
we tend to like people better the more we see them.

2. Do nice things for that person. "We prefer to see those to whom we
do good than those
who do good to us," as La Rochefoucauld observed.

3. Give that person a brief touch. Subliminal touching, i.e., touching
a person so unobtrusively that it's not noticed,
increases people's sense of well-being and positive feelings.

4. Lighten up. Joke about whatever annoys you, and if you can manage
it, laugh about it with that person,
or poke fun at your own reaction. Nothing neutralizes bad feelings
like a good laugh.
This can be tough, however.

5. Act friendly. We think we act because of the way we feel, but often
we feel because of the way we act.
So act the way you want to feel. This is uncannily effective—just try it.

6. Resist criticizing that person. When you voice your complaints,
they assume a solidity in your mind that's hard to eliminate.
When your thoughts remain unspoken, they can more easily be changed.

7. Remember happy shared experiences. Recalling good times elevates
mood and will help warm your feelings.

8. Be grateful. Reflecting on reasons to feel grateful, instead of
reasons to be angry or annoyed, will help change your view.

A Village with No Roads Whatsoever

A Village in Holland where in u cant find a single road...all
transportations are done by boats alone...

Friday, July 3, 2009

One of Indian Village With 250 Sets of Twins

` indian village with 250 sEts of twins `

Doctors are trying to unravel the mystery of an Indian village
boasting 250 sets of twins born to just 2,000 families.

The phenomenon has seen almost six times as many twins born than the
global average in the remote village of Kodinhi, in Kerala.


In 2008 alone 15 pairs of twins were born in the village out of 300
healthy deliveries and this year is expected to top that number

In the last five years alone up to 60 pairs of twins have been born,
with the rate of twins increasing year-on-year.

Local doctor and twin enthusiast Dr Krishnan Sribiju has been studying
the medical marvel of Kodinhi for the past two years. Although 250
sets of twins have been officially registered in the village Dr
Sribiju believes the real number to be far higher. "In my medical
opinion there are around 300 to 350 twins within the village
boundaries of Kodinhi," he said


According to villagers, the twin phenomenon only started occurring
three generations ago. Dr Sribiju said: "To the best of my knowledge
this medical marvel began somewhere between 60 to 70 years ago


"Without access to detailed biochemical analysis equipment I cannot
say for certain what the reason for the twinning is, but I feel that
it is something to do with what the villagers eat and drink"

Amaze your friends.,.,.b the first 2 tell them

On August 7 , 2009

At 12hr 34 minutes and 56 seconds on the 7th of August this year, the
time and date will be

12:34:56 07/08/09

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

This will never happen in your life again??!!!!

P U Z Z L Es

LETS SEE - HOW BRILLIANT ARE YOU ???

Test yourself with these thinking exercises. The solutions are at the
bottom of the page. Don't be lazy. Try hard to figure these out before
you look! It'll be a lot more satisfying.
________________________________

1. There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall building.
Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the
building to go to work. Upon returning from work though, he can only
travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way
unless it's raining! Why?

This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all lateral
thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many
possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the
canonical answer is truly satisfying.

2. A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the
scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives the
surgeon says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son! " How can
this be?

3. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, coat, gloves
and ski mask. He is walking down a back street with all the street
lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off but
somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

4. One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older
twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. How?

5. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones?
This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can
be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a
very well-known software company as an interview question for
prospective employees.

6.. A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left
early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently
died of poisoning.. Why did the man not die?

7. A man died and went to Heaven. There were thousands of other people
there. They were all naked and all looked as they did at the age of
21. He looked around to see if there was anyone he recognized. He saw
a couple and he knew immediately that they were Adam and Eve. How did
he know?

8. A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day
of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?

9. A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water.
The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says
'Thank you' and walks out. This puzzle claims to be the best of the
genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with
a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to
solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the
satisfaction of figuring it out.

10. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three
rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of
assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that
haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

11. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for
over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both
go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this
be?

12. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put
all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any
dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

13. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when
you throw it away?

14. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday? (or
day names in any other language)

15. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find
out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think
nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is
unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not
find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

The solutions are below.... Don't be lazy. Try hard to figure these
out before you look!

Solutions :

1. The man is very, very short and can only reach halfway up the
elevator buttons. However, if it is raining then he will have his
umbrella with him and can press the higher buttons with it.

2. The surgeon was his mother.

3. It was day time.

4. At the time she went into labor, the mother of the twins was
traveling by boat. The older twin, Terry, was born first early on
March 1st. The boat then crossed a time zone and Kerry, the younger
twin, was born on February the 28th. Therefore, the younger twin
celebrates her birthday two days before her older brother.

5. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the diagonal
of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down the manhole. So
for safety and practicality, all manhole covers should be round.

6. The poison in the punch came from the ice cubes. When the man drank
the punch, the ice was fully frozen. Gradually it melted, poisoning
the punch.

7.. He recognized Adam and Eve as the only people without navels.
Because they were not born of women, they had never had umbilical
cords and therefore they never had navels. This one seems perfectly
logical but it can sometimes spark fierce theological arguments. (Just
what a HUMOR list needs!!) ;^)

8. They were two of a set of triplets (or quadruplets, etc.). This
puzzle stumps many people. They try outlandish solutions involving
test-tube babies or surrogate mothers.. Why does the brain search for
complex solutions when there is a much simpler one available?

9. The man had hiccups. The barman recognized this from his speech and
drew the gun in order to give him a shock. It worked and cured the
hiccups--so the man no longer needed the water. The is a simple puzzle
to state but a difficult one to solve. It is a perfect example of a
seemingly irrational and incongruous situation having a simple and
complete explanation. Amazingly this classic puzzle seems to work in
different cultures and languages.

10. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

11. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband,
developed it, and hung it up to dry.

12. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in
the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.

13. The answer is Charcoal.

14. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

15.. The letter "e," which is the most common letter in the English
language, does not appear once in the long paragraph..

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Have dare to drive on these Roads

Latest Posts :-

Ajay Devgan gifts a swanky Blackberry to Bipasha Basu
"New York's super-success has surprised me" - Kabir Khan
"I do not identify with any of my characters in any of my f
'Kambakkht Ishq' first exclusive screening held last night
Dilip Kumar hospitalized
Jaiprakash Associates extends losses
Punj Lloyd continues to fall
Glenmark Pharma slips further
Power Grid among major losers
GV Films continues to fall

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Dangerous Journey

Best Employment Interview Tips......!!!!

Best Employment Interview Tips!

Â

Interview Tip 1: Plan Ahead - Do a little homework! Research the
company and the position if possible, and if possible the people you
will meet at the interview. Review your work experiences. Be ready to
support past career accomplishments with specific information targeted
towards the companies needs. Have your facts ready!

Interview Tip 2: Role Play - Once you have finished studying, begin
role playing (rehearsing). Make your presentation more concise. Try to
keep your answers to the information your new employer will want to
know.

Interview Tip 3: Eye Contact - Maintain eye contact with your
interviewer. Show you want the job with your interest.

 Interview Tip 4: Be Positive - In particular, avoid negative
comments about past employers.

Interview Tip 5: Adapt - Listen and adapt. Be sensitive to the style
of the interviewer. Pay attention to those details of dress, office
furniture, and general decor which will afford helpful clues to assist
you in tailoring your presentation.

Interview Tip 6: Relate - Try to relate your answers to the
interviewer and his or her company. Focus on achievements relevant to
the position.


Interview Tip 7: Encourage - Encourage the interviewer to share
information about his or her company. Demonstrate your interest. Ask
questions relating to the company to the employer which will make
him/her feel you are interested.

Interview Tip 8: Wear a Smile - Remain cheerful and approachable.
Beware of your expressions, looking pleasant is important.

Eleven Hints for Life!

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return.But what is
more painful is to love someone and neverfind the courage to let that
person know how you feel.

2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone whomeans a lot to you,
only to find out in the end that it wasnever meant to be and you just
have to let go.

3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on aporch swing
with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the
best conversation you've ever had.

4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but
it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it
arrives.

5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, anhour to like
someone, and a day to love someone-but ittakes a lifetime to forget
someone.


6. Don't go for looks, they can deceive. Don't go for wealth, even
that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes
only a smile to make a dark day seem bright.


7. Dream what you want to dream, go where you want to go, be what you
want to be. Because you have only one life and one chance to do all
the things you want to do.


8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts
you, it probably hurts the person too.


9. A careless word may kindle strife. A cruel word may wreck a life. A
timely word may level stress. But a loving word may heal and bless.


10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the bestof
everything they just make the most of everything that comes along
their way.


11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear.
When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was
smiling. Live your life so that when you die,you're the one smiling
and everyone around you is crying...

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Cool Business Cards

some informations

Butterflies taste with their feet.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all of the
world's nuclear weapons combined.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ball-point pens every year.

On average people fear spiders more than they do death.

Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are
already married.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs ... but not downstairs.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

It's physically impossible for you to lick your elbow.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year
because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the
weight of all the books that would occupy the building.

A snail can sleep for three years..
No word in the English language rhymes with "MONTH."

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears
never stop growing. SCARY!!!

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

All polar bears are left-handed.

In ancient Egypt, priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies,
including their eyebrows and eyelashes.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only
on one row of the keyboard.

"Go," is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33. She
would stand seven feet, two inches tall.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

Almost everyone who reads this will try to lick their elbow.

A Beggar Story !! ( Lession for a life )

Once a man was waiting for a taxi.
A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him.
But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man
became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him
alone unless he parts with some
money. Suddenly an idea struck him. He told the beggar, "I do not have
money, But if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will
certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the
beggar. The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead
of tea ".
He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to
the beggar. The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to
health." The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket
and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It
is really good". The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the
brain and damages the liver ".
The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race
course. Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will
place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".
As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying,
"Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit
".
Suddenly the man felt relieved!! and asked the beggar to come to his
home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of
receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts
and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".
The man replied.................................................
"My wife always wanted to see how a man with no Bad habits looks like."

Funny Pics

Rainfall clicked at Coimbatore...

First time sex (not vulgar - pure humor)

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet & have
dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend
that after dinner, she would like to go out & make love for the first
time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a
trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms.
He tells the pharmacist it's his first time & the pharmacist helps the
boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know
about condoms & sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how
many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack.
The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather
busy, it being his first time & all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house & meets his
girlfriend at the door.. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my
parents, come on in!'

The boy goes inside & is taken to the dinner table where the girl's
parents are seated.

The boy quickly offers to say grace & bows his head. A minute passes &
the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass & still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20
minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over & whispers to
the boyfriend, 'I had no idea you were this religious.'
The boy turns & whispers back, 'I had no idea your father was a pharmacist.'

Divorce because of 9/11 Attack

Inspirational Story: Think Smart, Work Smart and Rest Smart... Must Read..

Inspirational Story: Think Smart, Work Smart and Rest Smart...
Must Read..

Once there was a group of man - a young hot-blooded chap and a big
number of old folks, doing timber job in a jungle.

This young chap is very hard working. He always continues to work
through his break time and complains that those old folks were wasting
time,

having to break few times a day to drink and chat. As times goes by,
this young chap noticed that even though he worked through break time
and hardly took a rest.

those old folks are chopping the same amount of trees as he did and
sometimes did more than he did. It was as if those old folks work
through the break time as he did. So he decided to work harder the
next day.unfortunately the results were even worse.

One day, one of the old folk invited him for a drink during their
break time. That young chap refused and said he has no extra time to
spend! Then the old man smiled to him and said it was just a waste of
effort to keep chopping trees without re-sharpening your Axe. Sooner
or later you will give up or be so exhausted as you have spent too
much energy.

Suddenly the young chap realized that actually during break times
while those old folks were having a chat, they were also re-sharpening
their Axe at the same time! And that's how they can chop faster than
him and yet spending lesser time!

The old folk said what we need is efficiency by making use of our
skill and ability intelligently. Only then can we have more times to
do other things.

Otherwise you will always keep saying ...

I have no time!

Moral of the Story: By taking a short break during work, it would make
you feel fresher, think well and work better after the break! (Or am I
just finding excuse to take a break). But by taking a break, it is not
to stop work but to rest and re-think our strategy to go about it from
another angle.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Painted Rocks

Some Health TIPS..

Facts 1 - 5

1. The stomach's digestive acids are strong enough to dissolve zinc.
Fortunately for us, the cells in the stomach lining renew so quickly
that the acids don't have time to dissolve it.

2. The lungs contain over 300,000 million capillaries (tiny blood
vessels). If they were laid end to end, they would stretch 2400km
(1500 miles).

3. A man's testicles manufacture 10 million new sperm cells each day -
enough that he could repopulate the entire planet in only 6 months!

4. Human bone is as strong as granite in supporting weight.. A block
of bone the size of a matchbox can support 9 tonnes - that is four
times as much as concrete can support.

5. Each finger and toenail takes six months to grow from base to tip.

Facts 6 - 10

6. The largest organ in the body is the skin. In an adult man it
covers about 1.9m2 (20sq ft). The skin constantly flakes away - in a
lifetime each person sheds around 18kg (40 lb) of skin.

7. When you sleep, you grow by about 8mm (0.3in). The next day you
shrink back to your former height. The reason is that your cartilage
discs are squeezed like sponges by the force of gravity when you stand
or sit.

8. The average person in the west eats 50 tonnes of food and drinks
50,000 litres (11,000 gallons) of liquid during his life.

9. Each kidney contains 1 million individual filters. They filter an
average of around 1.3 litres (2.2 pints) of blood per minute and expel
up to 1.4 litres (2.5 pints) a day of urine.

10. The focusing muscles of the eyes move around 100,000 times a day.
To give your leg muscles the same workout, you would need to walk 80km
(50 miles) every day.

Facts 11 - 15

11. In 30 minutes, the average body gives off enough heat (combined)
to bring a half gallon of water to boil.

12. A single human blood cell takes only 60 seconds to make a complete
circuit of the body.

13. A foreskin, the size of a postage stamp, from circumcised babies
take only 21 days to grow skin that can cover three (3) basketball
courts. Amazing isn't it. Thanks to science. The laboratory-grown skin
is used in treating burn patients.

14. The eyes receive approximately 90 percent of all our information,
making us basically visual creatures.

15. The female ovaries contain nearly half-a-million egg cells, yet
only 400 or so will ever get the opportunity to create a new life.
Source

Friday, June 26, 2009

Lessons from 1981 and 2005.....

Interesting Year 1981
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament.
4. Pope Died

Interesting Year 2005
1. Prince Charles got married
2. Liverpool crowned soccer Champions of Europe
3. Australia lost the Ashes tournament
4. Pope Died

Lesson Learned:
The next time Charles gets married...someone warn the Pope !!!

Very Important Weather Update

When you walk out the door in the morning and see this in the sky......

......just go back inside, have another cup of coffee, and stay home.
It's NOT going to be a good day.

POOR BOYS

When a Girl Cries ------------The World "Consoles" her

But when a boy cries ---------- They say Come on man

don't be A "Girl"

If A Girl slaps a Boy ----------- Definitely the Boy would have "done something"

If Boy Slaps a girl ------------ -- Rascal doesn't know how to "Respect Ladies"

If a Girl is talking to Boys

----- She is "Very Friendly"

If a Boy talks to a Girl

---------- He is "flirting"

If a Girl meets with accident ------------ --------

Then its "mistake of others"

If a Boy meets with same accident -----------? - --?------

"Don't you know how to Drive"

What A World Is this

Please help us God..

Kashmir belongs To INDIA - Funny Proof

Kashmir belongs To INDIA. Funny Proof

Collection of Funny articles? click to Join Us

An ingenious example of speech and politics occurred recently in the
United Nations Assembly that made the world community smile.

A representative from India began: 'Before beginning my talk I want to
tellyou something about Rishi Kashyap of Kashmir, after whom Kashmir
is named.

When he struck a rock and it brought forth water, he thought, 'What a
good opportunity to have a bath.'

He removed his clothes, put them aside on the rock and entered the water.

When he got out and wanted to dress, his clothes had vanished. A
Pakistani had stolen them.'

The Pakistani representative jumped up furiously and shouted, 'What
are you talking about? The Pakistanis weren't there then.'

The Indian representative smiled and said, 'And now that we have made
that clear, I will begin my speech.'

And they say Kashmir belongs to them...

Thursday, June 25, 2009

First Love

First Love


Her heart glows like the coals of a warm fire,
Having no trouble with her true felt desire.

Knowing what she wants,
Letting her body flaunt,
Looking as her skin shows bright,
We both know it must be right.

All that has been done,
In the night and in the evening sun,
This fire that we light,
All our love such a beautiful sight.

I feel it in my bones and eyes,
A love that never dies,
We were given a gift,
Something that gave our spirits a lift.

While the sun sinks below the moutain,
Our body naked in a foutain,
A moment to treasure,
A moment Forever,
Such a thing as this,
In the utmost sense is true bliss.

All to be given,
Is the life that's to be liven,
A bond between two,
A bond that is to be shared with you.

This that is so nice,
That odds are the role of the dice,
For me to have you,
Shows me I can be true.

Indian Ladies and favorite TV serial

They cannot miss their favorite T.V. Serial even if there is flood,
storm, gale or earthquake!!!!

DO U THINK I AM KIDDING............OK THEN JUST SCROLL DOWN

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Look at the expression of worry on helpless Husband's face near the door.

Best answer in collage got A+

Hi....

Thursday, June 11, 2009

A Wonderful Story!

A woman came out of her house and saw 3 old men with long white beards
sitting in her front yard. She did not recognize them. She said "I
don't think I know you, but you must be hungry. Please come in and
have something to eat."

"Is the man of the house home?", they asked.

"No", she replied. "He's out."

"Then we cannot come in", they replied.

In the evening when her husband came home, she told him what had happened.

"Go tell them I am home and invite them in!"

The woman went out and invited the men in"

"We do not go into a House together," they replied.

"Why is that?" she asked.

One of the old men explained: "His name is Wealth," he said pointing
to one of his friends, and said pointing to another one, "He is
Success, and I am Love." Then he added, "Now go in and discuss with
your husband which one of us you want in your home."

The woman went in and told her husband what was said. Her husband was
overjoyed. "How nice!!", he said. "Since that is the case, let us
invite Wealth. Let him come and fill our home with wealth!"

His wife disagreed. "My dear, why don't we invite Success?"

Their daughter-in-law was listening from the other corner of the
house. She jumped in with her own suggestion: "Would it not be better
to invite Love? Our home will then be filled with love!"

"Let us heed our daughter-in-law's advice," said the husband to his wife.

"Go out and invite Love to be our guest."

The woman went out and asked the 3 old men, "Which one of you is Love?
Please come in and be our guest."

Love got up and started walking toward the house. The other 2 also got
up and followed him. Surprised, the lady asked Wealth and Success: "I
only invited Love, Why are you coming in?"

The old men replied together: "If you had invited Wealth or Success,
the other two of us would've stayed out, but since you invited Love,
wherever He goes, we go with him. Wherever there is Love, there is
also Wealth and Success!!!!!!"

MY WISH FOR YOU...

-Where there is pain, I wish you peace and mercy.
-Where there is self-doubting, I wish you a renewed confidence in your
ability to work through it.
-Where there is tiredness, or exhaustion, I wish you understanding,
patience, and renewed strength.
-Where there is fear, I wish you love, and courage.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

CUTE STORY

I was walking around in a Big Bazar store making shopping, when I saw
a Cashier talking to a boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years
old.


The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy

this doll. Then the little boy turned to me and asked: ''Uncle, are
you sure I don't have enough money?''

I counted his cash and replied: ''You know that you don't have enough
money to buy the doll l, my dear.'' The little boy was still holding
the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this

doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much.
I wanted to Gift her for her BIRTHDAY.

I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it

to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying
this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is
going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the
doll with her to give it to my sister.''

My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I
told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I
come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him
where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want mommy to take my
picture with her so my sister won't forget me.' 'I love my mommy and I
wish she doesn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go
to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with
sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check

again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to
his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough
for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to

sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that

mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to
have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy,

but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to
buy the doll and a white rose. My mommy loves white roses.'

I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I

couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local

news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a
truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The
little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical
state. The

family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining

machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the
coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news

paper that the young woman had passed away.. I couldn't stop myself as
I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where
the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make
last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a

beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and

the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling

that my life had been changed for ever.

The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still,

to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk

driver had taken all this away from him.

Please DO NOT DRINK & DRIVE.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

DOSTANAAAAA

AT A PARTY

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years are reunited at a party.

After several drinks, one of the men had to use the Rest
Room, those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a
successful company at the bottom of the barrel.
He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon
began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president
of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend
a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'

The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy.
He started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school
to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company,
where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best
friend a brand new jet for his birthday.'

The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best
universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction
company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very
nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday, A 30,000 square
foot mansion.'

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned
from the restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?'
One of the three said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the
successes of our sons. ....What about your son?'

The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living
dancing as a stripper at a nightclub.'
The three friendssaid: 'What a shame...what a disappointment.'
The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and
I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago,
and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion,
a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends. !!!!!!

DOSTANAAAAA..........!!!!!......)))))))

Velocity of Money...!!!

It is August. In a small town on the South Coast of France, the
holiday season is in full swing, but it is raining so there is not too
much business happening. Everyone is heavily in debt.

Luckily, a rich Russian tourist arrives in the foyer of the small
local hotel. He asks for a room and puts a Euro 100 note on the
reception counter, takes a key and goes to inspect the room located up
the stairs on the third floor.

The hotel owner takes the banknote in hurry and rushes to his meat
supplier to whom he owes E100.

The butcher takes the money and races to his supplier to pay his debt.

The wholesaler rushes to the farmer to pay E100 for pigs he purchased
some time ago.

The farmer triumphantly gives the E100 note to a local hair dresser
who provided him his services on credit.

The hair dresser goes quickly to the hotel, as he owed the hotel for
his room use a month back.

At that moment, the rich Russian is coming down to reception and
informs the hotel owner that the proposed room is unsatisfactory and
takes his E100 back and departs.

There was no profit or income. There was NO real economic activity.
But everyone no longer has any debt and the small town people look
optimistically towards their future.

That's the power of velocity of money!

Difference between http:// and https://

What is the difference between ( http:// ) and ( https:// )


The main difference between http:// and https:// is: it's all about
keeping you secure.

HTTP:// stands for Hyper Text Transport Protocol,
Which is just a fancy way of saying it's a protocol (a language, in a
manner of speaking)
for information to be passed back and forth between web servers and clients.
The important thing is the letter "S".
This is what makes the difference between http:// and https://.
The "S" (big surprise) stands for "Secure".
If you visit a website or webpage, and look at the address in the web
browser, it will likely begin with the following: http://.
This means that the website is talking to your browser using the
regular 'unsecure' language. In other words, it is possible for
someone to "eavesdrop" on your computer's conversation with the
website. If you fill out a form on the website, someone might see the
information you send to that site.

This is why you never ever enter your credit card number in an http:// website !

But if the web address begins with https://, that basically means your
computer is talking to the website in a secure code that no one can
eavesdrop on.
You understand why this is so important, right?
If a website ever asks you to enter your credit card information, you
should automatically look to see if the web address begins with
https://.
If it doesn't, do NOT enter sensitive information like a credit card number.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

Santa Banta Jokes

Santa: My mobile bill how much?
Call centre girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
Santa: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.


Banta built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled?
When asked him, he said,
"Oye, that's for those who don't know Swimming.

Banta: I think that girl is deaf.
Friend: How do u know?
Banta: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals (Shoes) are new

Santa: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
Teacher: Me? No, why?
Santa: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call".

Judge: Don't U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
Banta to judge: U R coming daily, don't U have shame?

Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
Santa: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.

Santa in airplane going to Bombay . While its landing he was excited
and shouted: " Bombay ... Bombay "
Air hostess said: "B silent."
Santa: "Ok. Ombay. Ombay"

Banta got a sms from his girl friend: "I MISS YOU"
Banta replied: "I Mr. YOU" !!.


After finishing MBBS Banta Singh started his practice.
He Checked 1st Patient's Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch & Finally
Said: "Oye, Torch is okay"