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Friday, July 31, 2009

A Village in Austria named Fucking

A Little Austrian Town Named.......


The newspaper article below is even funnier than the sign!

Are the residents called Fuckers?
What are the mothers called?
What would you be learning at the Fucking High School ?
Does the Fucking Hospital help you with anything else?
If your friend came from another town, he wouldn't be your Fucking friend.

I didn't believe this was true .. So did an Internet search. It's
TRUE!!! Here's more pictures and info .

Now, this one is really good! The sign says 'Bitte! Nicht so schnell',
which in English translates to 'Please! Not so fast!

More tidbits, and it gets even funnier! ..
Pronounced 'fooking'
The little hamlet of Fucking is named after the man who founded the
village in the 6th century.
His name? Focko.
NOW YOU CAN FORWARD THIS TO ALL YOUR FRIENDS
WHO KNOW NOTHING ABOUT THE FUCKING TOWN.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

P U Z Z L E S

 LETS SEE - HOW BRILLIANT ARE YOU ???


Test yourself with these thinking exercises. The solutions are at the
bottom of the page. Don't be lazy. Try hard to figure these out before
you look! It'll be a lot more satisfying.

1. There is a man who lives on the top floor of a very tall building.
Everyday he gets the elevator down to the ground floor to leave the
building to go to work. Upon returning from work though, he can only
travel half way up in the lift and has to walk the rest of the way
unless it's raining! Why?

This is probably the best known and most celebrated of all lateral
thinking puzzles. It is a true classic. Although there are many
possible solutions which fit the initial conditions, only the
canonical answer is truly satisfying.

2. A man and his son are in a car accident. The father dies on the
scene, but the child is rushed to the hospital. When he arrives the
surgeon says, "I can't operate on this boy, he is my son! " How can
this be?

3. A man is wearing black. Black shoes, socks, trousers, coat, gloves
and ski mask. He is walking down a back street with all the street
lamps off. A black car is coming towards him with its light off but
somehow manages to stop in time. How did the driver see the man?

4. One day Kerry celebrated her birthday. Two days later her older
twin brother, Terry, celebrated his birthday. How?

5. Why is it better to have round manhole covers than square ones?
This is logical rather than lateral, but it is a good puzzle that can
be solved by lateral thinking techniques. It is supposedly used by a
very well-known software company as an interview question for
prospective employees.

6.. A man went to a party and drank some of the punch. He then left
early. Everyone else at the party who drank the punch subsequently
died of poisoning.. Why did the man not die?

7. A man died and went to Heaven. There were thousands of other people
there. They were all naked and all looked as they did at the age of
21. He looked around to see if there was anyone he recognized. He saw
a couple and he knew immediately that they were Adam and Eve. How did
he know?

8. A woman had two sons who were born on the same hour of the same day
of the same year. But they were not twins. How could this be so?

9. A man walks into a bar and asks the barman for a glass of water.
The barman pulls out a gun and points it at the man. The man says
'Thank you' and walks out. This puzzle claims to be the best of the
genre. It is simple in its statement, absolutely baffling and yet with
a completely satisfying solution. Most people struggle very hard to
solve this one yet they like the answer when they hear it or have the
satisfaction of figuring it out.

10. A murderer is condemned to death. He has to choose between three
rooms. The first is full of raging fires, the second is full of
assassins with loaded guns, and the third is full of lions that
haven't eaten in 3 years. Which room is safest for him?

11. A woman shoots her husband. Then she holds him under water for
over 5 minutes. Finally, she hangs him. But 5 minutes later they both
go out together and enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this
be?

12. There are two plastic jugs filled with water. How could you put
all of this water into a barrel, without using the jugs or any
dividers, and still tell which water came from which jug?

13. What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when
you throw it away?

14. Can you name three consecutive days without using the words
Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, or Sunday? (or
day names in any other language)

15. This is an unusual paragraph. I'm curious how quickly you can find
out what is so unusual about it. It looks so plain you would think
nothing was wrong with it. In fact, nothing is wrong with it! It is
unusual though. Study it, and think about it, but you still may not
find anything odd. But if you work at it a bit, you might find out.

The solutions are below.... Don't be lazy. Try hard to figure these
out before you look!

Solutions :

1. The man is very, very short and can only reach halfway up the
elevator buttons. However, if it is raining then he will have his
umbrella with him and can press the higher buttons with it.

2. The surgeon was his mother.

3. It was day time.

4. At the time she went into labor, the mother of the twins was
traveling by boat. The older twin, Terry, was born first early on
March 1st. The boat then crossed a time zone and Kerry, the younger
twin, was born on February the 28th. Therefore, the younger twin
celebrates her birthday two days before her older brother.

5. A square manhole cover can be turned and dropped down the diagonal
of the manhole. A round manhole cannot be dropped down the manhole. So
for safety and practicality, all manhole covers should be round.

6. The poison in the punch came from the ice cubes. When the man drank
the punch, the ice was fully frozen. Gradually it melted, poisoning
the punch.

7.. He recognized Adam and Eve as the only people without navels.
Because they were not born of women, they had never had umbilical
cords and therefore they never had navels. This one seems perfectly
logical but it can sometimes spark fierce theological arguments. (Just
what a HUMOR list needs!!) ;^)

8. They were two of a set of triplets (or quadruplets, etc.). This
puzzle stumps many people. They try outlandish solutions involving
test-tube babies or surrogate mothers.. Why does the brain search for
complex solutions when there is a much simpler one available?

9. The man had hiccups. The barman recognized this from his speech and
drew the gun in order to give him a shock. It worked and cured the
hiccups--so the man no longer needed the water. The is a simple puzzle
to state but a difficult one to solve. It is a perfect example of a
seemingly irrational and incongruous situation having a simple and
complete explanation. Amazingly this classic puzzle seems to work in
different cultures and languages.

10. The third. Lions that haven't eaten in three years are dead.

11. The woman was a photographer. She shot a picture of her husband,
developed it, and hung it up to dry.

12. Freeze them first. Take them out of the jugs and put the ice in
the barrel. You will be able to tell which water came from which jug.

13. The answer is Charcoal.

14. Sure you can: Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow!

15.. The letter "e," which is the most common letter in the English
language, does not appear once in the long paragraph..

Sunday, July 19, 2009

SERIOUS JOKE

Serious joke....(literally)


AN AMERICAN VISITED INDIA AND WENT BACK TO AMERICA

WHERE HE MET HIS INDIAN FRIEND WHO ASKED HIM

HOW DID U FIND MY COUNTRY

THE AMERICAN SAID IT IS A GREAT COUNTRY

WITH SOLID ANCIENT HISTORY

AND IMMENSELY RICH WITH NATURAL RESOURCES.

THE INDIAN FRIEND THEN ASKED


HOW DID U FIND INDIANS


INDIANS??

WHO INDIANS??

I DIDNT FIND OR MET A SINGLE INDIAN

THERE IN INDIAï

WHAT NONSENSE??

WHO ELSE COULD U MET IN INDIA THEN

THE AMERICAN SAID

IN KASHMIR I MET A KASHMIRI

IN PUNJAB A PANJABIï

IN BIHAR,MAHARASTRA, RAJASTHAN, BENGAL,TAMILNADU,KERALA

BIHARI,MARATHI, MARWADI, BENGALI,TAMILIAN, MALAYALIï

THEN I MET

A MUSLIM,

A HINDU

A CHRISTIAN,

A JAIN,

A BUDDHIST

AND MANY MANY MANY MORE


BUT NOT A SINGLE INDIAN�DID I MEET


THINK HOW SERIOUS THIS JOKE ISï


THE DAY WOULD NOT BE FAR OFF WHEN INDEED WE WOULD

BECOME A COLLECTION OF NATION STATES AS SOME

REGIONAL ANTI-NATIONAL POLITICIANS WANT ...

FIGHT BACK -


ALWAYS SAY I AM INDIAN

JAI HIND

Wisdom

Once upon a time an old man spread rumors that his neighbor was a
thief. As a result, the young man was arrested. Days later the young
man was proven innocent. After been released he sued the old man for
wrongly accusing him.

In court the old man told the Judge: 'They were just comments, didn't
harm anyone..'

The judge, before passing sentence on the case, told the old man:
'Write all the things you said about him on a piece of paper. Cut them
up and on the way home, throw the pieces of paper out. Tomorrow, come
back to hear the sentence.'

The next day, the judge told the old man: 'Before receiving the
sentence, you will have to go out and gather all the pieces of paper
that you threw out yesterday.'
The old man said: 'I can't do that! The wind spread them and I won't
know where to find them.' �

The judge then replied: 'The same way, simple comments may destroy the
honor of a man to such an extent that one is not able to fix it. If
you can't speak well of someone, rather don't say anything.
'Let's all be masters of our mouths, so that we won't be slaves of our words.'

Monday, July 13, 2009

Friday, July 10, 2009

81 ways to win your wife's love

81 ways to win your wife's love

1. Make her feel secure, don't threaten her with divorce.
2. Give sincere Salaams.
3. Treat her gently, like a fragile vessel.
4. Advise in private, at the best time, in the best way and atmosphere.
5. Be generous with her.
6. Warm the seat for her, you will warm her heart.
7. Avoid anger, be in Wudhu at all times.
8. Look good and smell great for your wife.
9. Don't be rigid or harsh-hearted or you will be broken.
10. Be a good listener.
11. Yes for flattery. No for arguing.
12. Call your wife with the best names, cute nicknames, and names she
loves to hear.
13. A pleasant surprise.
14. Preserve and guard the tongue.
15. Expect, accept, and overlook her shortcomings.
16. Give sincere compliments.
17. Encourage her to keep good relations with her family.
18. Speak of the topic of her interest.
19. Express to her relatives, how wonderful she is.
20. Give each other gifts.
21. Get rid of routine, surprise her.
22. Have a good opinion of each other.
23. Have good manners, overlook small things, don't nitpick.
24. Add a drop of patience, increase during pregnancy, menses.
25. Expect and respect her jealously.
26. Be humble.
27. Sacrifice your happiness for hers.
28. Help at home, with housework.
29. Help her love your relatives, but don't try to force her.
30. Let her know that she is the ideal wife for you.
31. Remember your wife in Du'a.
32. Leave the past for Allah, don't dwell on, dig into, or bring it up.
33. Don't act as if you are doing her a favor by working or providing,
Allah is the Provider, the husband is the carrier of the sustenance to
the family.
34. Take Shaitan as your enemy, not your wife.
35. Put food in your wife's mouth.
36. Treat your wife like she is the most precious pearl that you want
to protect.
37. Show her your smile.
38. Don't ignore the small things, deal with them before they be come big.
39. Avoid being harsh-hearted.
40. Respect and show that you appreciate her thinking.
41. Help her to find and build her inner strengths and skills.
42. Respect that she might not be in mood for intimacy, stay within
Halaal boundaries.
43. Help her take care of the children.
44. Give her gifts with your tongue, be an artist with your compliments.
45. Sit down and eat meals together.
46. Let her know that you will be traveling or returning from travel,
give her sufficient notice.
47. Don't leave home in anger.
48. Maintain the secrecy and privacy of the home.
49. Encourage each other in worship.
50. Respect and fulfill her rights upon you.
51. Live with her in kindness, goodness, fairness in good and bad times.
52. Kiss your wife, foreplay, don't jump on her like a bull.
53. Keep disputes between the two of you, don't take it outside.
54. Show care for her health and well-being.
55. Remember you are not always right or perfect yourself.
56. Share your happiness and sadness with her.
57. Have mercy for her weaknesses.
58. Be a firm support for her to lean on.
59. Accept her as is, she is a package deal.
60. Have a good intention for her.
61. Cook a dish for her.
62. Designate a nice, clean, spacious area in your home for the two of
you to pray at night whenever you can.
63. Women love flowers. Make a trail of them on the floor leading to
the gift you made for her.
64. Give her a nice massage when she least expects it.
65. Send your wife a text message out of the blue with a message of love.
66. Send your wife an email without a reason.
67. Go out on a date or a get-away for the weekend in a nice location,
preferably without kids.
68. Do something for your wife's family, whether it is a gift, or a
chat with her teen brother who needs mentoring, or whatever. It will
get you lots of brownie points.
69. Do not keep reminding and demanding your rights all the time.
70. Shop groceries for her and call her from the store and ask her
what she needs for the home, for herself or for her to give to people
as gifts.
71. Ask her if she would like to invite her female friends over for
ladies only get together and arrange for the dinner.
72. Ask her to send gifts to her parents and siblings.
73. Help her parents pay off debt. Send her poor relatives some money.
74. Write love notes or poems and place them in the book she's been reading.
75. If she tells you something she had just learned from the Qur'an or
Hadith, do not dismiss her or ridicule her effort, instead listen to
her and take her word.
76. Plant her a kitchen garden with all kind of herbs she needs for cooking.
77. Adopt a kitten for her if she likes.
78. Update her PC or laptop with a new one or get her a new mobile phone.
79. Learn to do a special massage technique and surprise her with your
new expertise.
80. Teach your children to respect and honor their mother.
81. Be humorous with her when she makes a mistake in the kitchen (like
when she put too much salt or burnt her baking).

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Medical Benefits of Honey and Cinnamon

Medical Benefits of Honey and Cinnamon..


It is found that a mixture of honey and cinnamon cures most Diseases.
Honey is produced in most of the countries of the world. Scientists of
today also accept honey as a "Ram Ban" (very effective) medicine for
all kinds of diseases. Honey can be used without any side Effects for
any kind of diseases.

Today's science says that even though honey is sweet, if taken in the
right dosage as a medicine, it does not harm diabetic patients. Weekly
World News, a Magazine in Canada , on its issue dated 17 January, 1995
has given the following list of diseases that can be cured by honey
and cinnamon as researched by western scientists

HEART DISEASES
Make a paste of honey and cinnamon powder, apply on bread, instead of
jelly and jam, and eat it regularly for breakfast. It reduces the
cholesterol in the arteries and saves the patient from heart attack.
Also, those who have already had an attack, if they do this Process
daily they are kept miles away from the next attack. Regular use of
the above process relieves loss of breath and strengthens the heart
beat. In America and Canada , various nursing homes have treated
patients successfully and have found that as you age, the arteries and
veins lose their flexibility and get clogged; honey and cinnamon
revitalize the arteries and veins.

ARTHRITIS:
Arthritis patients may take daily, morning, and night, One cup of hot
water with two spoons of honey and one small teaspoon of cinnamon
powder. If taken regularly even chronic arthritis can be cured. In a
recent research conducted at the Copenhagen University, it was found
that when the doctors treated their patients with a mixture of one
tablespoon honey and half teaspoon Cinnamon powder before breakfast,
They found that within a week, out of the 200 people So treated,
practically 73 patients were totally relieved of pain, and
within a month, mostly all the patients who could not walk or move
around because of arthritis started walking without pain.

BLADDER INFECTIONS:
Take two tablespoons of cinnamon powder and one teaspoon of honey in a
glass of lukewarm water and drink it. It destroys the germs in
thebladder.
TOOTHACHE:
Make a paste of one teaspoon of cinnamon powder and five teaspoons of
honey and apply on the aching tooth. This may be applied three times a
day until the tooth stops aching.

CHOLESTEROL:

Two tablespoons of honey and three teaspoons of cinnamon powder mixed
in 16 ounces of tea water, given to a cholesterol patient were found
to reduce the level of cholesterol in the blood by 10 percent within
two hours. As mentioned for arthritic patients, if taken three times a
day, any chronic cholesterol is cured. According to information
received in the said Journal, pure honey taken with food daily
relieves complaints of cholesterol. By the way, if you're taking
cholesterol medicine, STOP! They all contain STATIN which weaken your
muscles...including YOUR HEART and none has been shown to stop heart
attacks or strokes!!!!= 20


COLDS:

Those suffering from common or severe colds should take one tablespoon
lukewarm honey with 1/4 spoon cinnamon powder daily for three days.

This process will cure most chronic cough, cold, and clear the sinuses.

UPSET STOMACH

Honey taken with cinnamon powder cures stomach ache and also clears
stomach ulcers from the root.
GAS

According to the studies done in India and Japan , it is revealed that
if honey is taken with cinnamon powder the stomach is relieved of gas


IMMUNE SYSTEM

Daily use of honey and cinnamon powder strengthens the immune system
and protects the body from bacterial and viral attacks. Scientists
have found that honey has various vitamins and iron in large amounts.
Constant Use of honey strengthens the white blood corpuscles to
fight bacterial and viral diseases.